Game Preview: Florida Gators @ LSU Tigers – 8:00

10 things for tonight’s Florida/LSU matchup…

1. Be prepared to be force fed concussion information all night. Think you heard a lot about Tim Tebow’s brain over the past two weeks, you ain’t seen nothing yet. There will be replays of the hit. Comparisons between his concussion and famous concussions of the past (Jim Leavitt started sounding like your great-grandfather when he yells after slipping on pickle juice and hitting his head on a kitchen counter…bet you didn’t know that). If Tebow doesn’t play, he’ll be shown no less than 1,000 times. If he does, 10,000. Start or not, John Brantley MCMXIV will get more TV time than LeGarrette Blount ringside at a prize fight. What concussion means (it has something to do with the effects on the mind Superman experiences when faced with kryptonite). And of course, if Timmy plays and doesn’t have the best game in the history of any college football player EVER, we’ll hear all about how he should be at home in his bunk bed snuggly under his Walker Texas Ranger sheets (Tebow sleeps on both the top and bottom bunks because he can).

2. Maybe Urban Meyer doesn’t give Emmanuel Moody as much time as a running back with over 10 yards per carry should get because he has him confused with this guy. If so, I get it. You can’t possibly carry a football with hooves. But if not, we’ll just assume the reason has something to do with the fact that Meyer can’t catch Jeffery Demps to tell him he’s not starting. In case you didn’t now, him fast.

3. Random Omarius Hines facts: Hines caught 23 touchdown passes as a high school junior and he likes Star Crunch Cosmic Snacks.

4. Deonte Thompson can catch the deep ball. Deonte Thompson will catch the deep ball. Deonte Thompson can say the deep ball. Deonte Thompson is the deep ball. Hamstring be damned. Deep ball.

5. LSU bruiser back Charles Scott rushed for more than 100 yards in four straight games before facing the lean, mean, orange and blue machine in 2008. Scott’s line: 12 carries, 35 yards, 2.9 per carry, 1 catch, 8 yards, headache, loss, disappointment. In 2009, Scott has done what he can to kill whatever draft potential he had. He has yet to have more than 95 yards in a single game and now faces the team that seems to know how to stop that train.

6. Apparently Tim Tebow has some sort of head injury. We’re not sure if it’s serious, but there’s a sick, twisted rumor out there he might not play. I blame the internet. This has to be some sort of elaborate web hoax, like, you know, global warming, the war in Iraq, or signs of intelligent life in Alabama.

7. Pouncey-Squared must take control of the offensive line. Keep Marcus Gilbert at least 10 years away from whoever quarterbacks at all times. Keep James Wilson on the field for the entire game (there’s no Matt Patchan to sub in; he caught a nasty case of the ACLs). Keep Carl Johnson knowing his job is that much more important if a right-handed QB is back there.

8. We like Ciron Black. Scratch that. We love Ciron Black. Ciron Black = good people. Tonight Jermaine Cunningham and Carlos Dunlap must make Ciron Black their personal play toy. We’ll resume loving Ciron Black on Sunday morning.

9. Pray for a Brandon Spikes unsportsmanlike conduct-induced punt shank. If we see #51 booting the ball off the side of his foot as fans everywhere run for cover, it means Florida is up big and LSU’s chances of keeping alive that streak of home, night wins alive have gone the way of a Ron Zook contract extension.

10. What’s that? Tim Tebow is hurt?!? Gotta go…

About The Bull Gator

I like orange and blue things.
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One Response to Game Preview: Florida Gators @ LSU Tigers – 8:00

  1. TROLL Y2K says:

    Tebow was hurt?

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